Divorce As a Teaching Tool

Parents are superheroes. You keep your children safe, protected and cared for every day. As parents and caregivers, you are capable of putting aside anything when it comes to the welfare of your children. Consider the mother who lifts a car to save her child trapped underneath or the father who works multiple jobs to pay for his son's private schooling. Parents are the everyday heroes of our lives and, like all people, face down adversity and sometimes reality for the betterment of the children. However, when confronted with the trauma of separation and divorce, many parents falter.Divorce, in many cases, is to parenting what kryptonite is to Superman. Just as Superman time and again worked around or through the devastation of kryptonite,Explain that during divorce so to will you have to work parenting around the wreckage of divorce. Divorce doesn't have to render you powerless, you just have to consider it from another angle and turn it to your advantage.

When we step back and look at divorce from a distance, we see two people attempting to function in adversity. What many parents forget to take into account is that the ways in which you behave and present yourself directly impacts your children and will implicitly teach them how to act in the face of heartbreak and distress.You not only need to act with integrity to teach your children how to behave through conflict, but you also have to grasp the opportunity to explicitly teach them ways to handle complex emotions, develop tools to cope with change and provide an environment that supports positive thinking. Imagine empowering your children with the tools to face change and heartbreak in the future. In this regard, divorce can become a teaching tool for life skills and emotional intelligence that will not only make your children more resilient but also better people.

There is a wonderful saying that comes from Yogi Bhajan:"If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it."Divorce is your time to become a master of change and emotional intelligence for your children. You may be hurt, but you are still wearing the cape of parenthood. You can continue to be the superhero by making your pain and recovery teachable moments for your children.You can set your intention each day by focusing on your goals and how you plan to achieve them. A proactive approach to your divorce will show your children that even in conflict, one must act in order to accomplish their desires.